Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
