Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize