Can i not drive my cunt home
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
