I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
