Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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