conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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