therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
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