My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
