She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
