Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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