i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
