Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize