He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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