I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
