New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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