My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
