Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
even my farts smell like vagina
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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