WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
