Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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