some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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