I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
