We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
