i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
