i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
