I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
