i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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