C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
