my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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