you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
