I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
