And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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