New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
someone owes me an orgasm
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
