Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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