WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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