omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
No subtext here. People are naked.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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