Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
