if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
