Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My dick has a subreddit
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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