I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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