He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
