I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize