K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
