hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Text me some of your sweat
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