Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
