I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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