Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
