I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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