I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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