she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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