How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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