I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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