Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
