he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
