i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
