He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
