Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
