You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
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