Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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