I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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