a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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