Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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