But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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